classic: down go the donkeys! my thoughts!

sk: a couple more classics to get the mood set ... then I'll have my initial look at the 2008 season.

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I know there's a lot of things I could focus on (and don't worry, I will below), but the highlight of that game for me was after plummer's final incompletion, when Bennie Sapp taunted the donkeys. It was something ... well, it not only was awesome to see, it was something I so totally would have done in that spot. I mean, I know I love Bennie Sapp, I hype the guy like he's the greatest thing since Shiner Blonde was readily available up here. But still, it was just totally an in-your-face manuever. I loved it.

To recap: plummer throws incomplete. The crowd is going nuts. Well, ok, at least I was going nuts. It is denver, after all. And 10 of the 11 Chiefs defenders on that play either celebrate on the field, or head back to our bench. But not the brave, heroic Bennie Sapp.

My boy Bennie runs into the donkeys bench, grabs a couple of their towels, then jumps up on their bench, and leads the crowd in their cheering, waving the towels around like a Steelers fan would, while the shocked donkeys just stand around and let it happen. They let a Chief celebrate on their bench, on their sideline, what might be the end of the donkeys playoff hopes, as they just stood by and took like like the beat down b*tches they are. Just awesome, awesome stuff.

Not in our house, denver! Not in our freaking house! Not on this freaking day!

* We should know sometime today if the Ravens game gets moved to Sunday night. When I look at the schedule, there's only three viable options for December 10th: the reeling Giants at reeling Carolina; the Colts at the free-falling Jaguars, or the surging Ravens at the surging Chiefs. (denver at San Diego would have been an option, but I don't see the league allowing denver to appear in 4 straight prime time contests). I like our odds.

* Congratulations to ... well, us, for winning the Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrice Chopper Tailgaters of the Game!!! We freaking rule!!! The lovely parting gifts will be used for the Jaguars tailgate on New Years Eve.

* and what a photo it was on the Arrowvision deal at the start of the 4th quarter, nothing like 30 plus drunk people making a fool of themselves for the camera. I love tailgating ...

* and what a tailgate it was! 2 buses, 30 plus people that quickly ballooned into the 50 plus range, 4 deep fried turkeys, some deep fried chicken thingy, more side items than even Brian Waters could snarf down, lots of booze, the Cowboys game on TV, that "Kick the Ball to Hall" song going non-stop, Steve attempting to do the Electric Slide (it was brutal, just brutal, I have no coordination at all), and throw in a couple donkeys fans, meeting Joe's new boyfriend, and a marriage proposal to boot! Good grief.

Plus, and I've always said this, no matter how crazy, insane, disturbed, nuts, or otherwise unstable you think I am ... you compare me to that tailgating group, and I come out looking good. Or at least, a little more normal. Speaking of "tailgating group" and "not quite normal" ...

* Funniest moment of the day #1: Gregg's mom and sister show up about 4:30ish. Bill walks up, starts talking to them ... and immediately offers her a beer. The look on his mom's face was just priceless. You'd have thought Bill had cooties or something. I had to walk away, I was laughing so hard. If she's that repulsed by just offering a beer, no wonder she doesn't like me, I almost always have some alcoholic beverage in my hand ...

* Funniest moment of the day #2: Ben finally arrives, and the dude with him is like "is this Mona's tailgate"? Turns out, they work together. (little kids voice) Its a small world after all, its a small world after all ...

* I love the walk in for a prime time game. The night sky illuminated by the stadium lights, the fans fired up, the smoke filling the air, "In the Air Tonight" blaring over the stadium loudspeakers ... come on NBC, do the right thing. Move the Ravens game! Move the Ravens game! (Even if it will be like 2 freaking degrees outside ...)

* nice weather too. First thing I heard when I hopped on the bus, "what, no shorts?!?! Steve didn't wear shorts?!?!"

* then again, the second thing I heard was, "what, no bloody mary?!?! Steve isn't holding a bloody mary?!?!" Come on people, it was 2:50 in the afternoon. I'm on straight vodka by that point.

* ok, here's why I love Herm Edwards, and what he's managed to accomplish so far with this team. The Chiefs never led by more than 10 points, and both times the lead reached 10, denver immediately scored. So basically, it was a one possession game for 50 some odd minutes. And not once, not once, did I ever doubt what the outcome would be. Even watching the game afterwards, I never once saw anything that led me to believe denver could win. Our defense was that solid, our offense was that effective at moving the ball and bleeding the clock.

That's why I freaking hate "former Chiefs coach whose name will never appear in my commentaries again". I never once had that feeling in any game that man coached. With Herm, 16-10 is a comfortable lead. With "former coach", last year alone, we lost a game we led 17-0 and 24-6. The last time the donkeys won at Arrowhead, against "former coach", we led 34-20 with 4 minutes left. Defense matters, folks. Defense wins f*cking championships. Which is why this season has been so much fun for me at least, we finally have a head coach who freaking gets it.

* KC Wolf's sketch was actually funny this week. Sure, it opened with the traditional "donkeys fans stealing his turkey, then Wolf beating up donkeys on the field", that's nothing new. But at the end, he grabbed his two turkeys back, set them on the front of the ATV like they were a trophy, did his Hacksaw Jim Duggan flag / 2x4 wave impersonation and took off. That's humor.

* no flyover! Hooray saving taxpayer money! Maybe if they got rid of flyovers, your illustrious governor over there in Missouri could stop eliminating needed programs for the poor and less fortunate among us. Or actually pave your roads to where the 'roids don't flare up from me bouncing up and down every 2 minutes.

* the Anthem ... in a word, wretched. Look it, I get that this Jessica Harp chick is hot as hell. She hits every major benchmark to be in the Steve Drool-o-Meter rankings (which, actually, need to be updated ...): she's younger than me (which is becoming easier to be all the time ...), she's blonde, she's attractive, she's not overweight, she doesn't have kids, she has talent (aka "I don't have to be the only source of income"), and she has the little nose stud dealie that totally turns me on. But how the f*ck can you mess up not one, not two, but 3 freaking words? Especially when they're provided for you on the scoreboard and side boards? As Mona put it, "she needs cue cards". As I put it, "she f*cking sucks".

* then again, we are 2 for 2 against the donkeys when this chick sings the Anthem. I suggest we immediately move to lock her into a lifetime contract to perform for the denver game ...

* Cheerleader sketch at 2 minute warning! They held the steering wheels backwards. I know that's something only I would notice, but really, girls ... the outfits were marvelous. The dance routine was spectacular. Even the music was fitting and appropriate, making the whole scene look like something you'd see at everyone's favorite run-down shack on East 15th Street on the outskirts of Lawrence. But you gotta hold the steering wheel right to make it a truly memorable sketch girls. Detail, attention to detail, that's what gets you upgraded from The Shady Lady to Channel 595's "Stripsearch". Detail.

* Halftime! John Fogerty was pretty damned good. And the overhead shots of all the fireworks going off, awesome stuff. Plus, I love that he didn't try to cram new stuff down our throats, he just stuck with the classics.

* Halftime! Rachel made an appearance. She pulled a Joe Namath routine, trying to kiss me 4 freaking times. She only succeeded twice. I am still attempting to confirm that you can't get herpes or syphilus or God knows what else she has by a kiss on the forehead and cheek. Man, she's nasty.

* And she wouldn't leave either. I had two empties by me the whole time, and go figure, she sat down in one of them. No wonder I didn't feel good leaving the game. Thankfully, she was (and remained) fully dressed, that's never a given with her. Then she shows up at the postgame tailgate too. Good freaking God, go away already. If I didn't hit it when you showed up in the Budweiser bikini ensemble that quickly became a thong-only outfit, I sure as all hell aren't going to get it on with you when its 35 freaking degrees out, I'm sick enough that I lost my ability to breathe leaving the game, and oh yeah, I'm drunk.

Well, on second thought, I am 29 and single ... soon to be 30 and single ... nah, not even I'm that desperate. Yet anyways ...

* Speaking of postgame tailgating, we still have no idea who fat shirtless guy was that was running around.

* Funniest moment of the day #3: after Surtain's interception is called back by the illegal contact call (good call, by the way, judging by the replays), I notice the donkeys fans next to me aren't really celebrating. So I'm like "what, you aren't happy about this?" And the one guy was like "nah, I mean, its good that we kept the ball, but dammit, that just means plummer stays on the field". Your 2006 denver broncos everyone!!!

* speaking of which, if shanarat actually turns to cutler, he's an idiot. You don't bench a 7-4 quarterback coming off an AFC championship game appearance. If they go with cutler, denver won't make the playoffs.

* on second thought, go with cutler, mike!

* Gumble and Collinsworth. I have to admit, I thought Cris Collinsworth did a fine job on Thursday night. Solid color commentary. Bryant Gumble, on the other hand, made me long for Don Criqui. And I'll leave it at that.

* it was cool to see Deion Sanders back on the field at Arrowhead. The last time he was here, he grabbed his doll that KC Wolf beat up in the pregame festivities, and sat it on the bench next to him for the whole game. Funny stuff. It also was one of the greatest games in Arrowhead history, Montana vs Young, a 24-17 Chiefs victory.

* Ditto Marshall Faulk, the last time he was here, he puked his guts out on the turf en route to a 54-34 ass kicking by the Chiefs. (He didn't play in the Rams last meaningful visit, a 49-10 beating).

* And Steve Mariucci! His last time here, he lost in what was up until this year the worst defeat in 49ers history, 44-9. A defeat topped only by ... well, this year's 49ers visit to Arrowhead, a 41-0 debacle.

* I don't think Rich Eisen had ever been here before. But if he had, I'm sure his team got blown out.

* From the "deceiving advertising" department: I don't know what scares me more. The fact that Rocky 6 is less than a month away from hitting the theatres ... or the fact that, based on the previews, I actually want to see it. I'm leaning towards the latter.

* best text message received before / during / after game: from Phil, as the clock ran out: "f*ck you shanarat". I was actually speechless, I didn't know how to reply. That was my exact thought at that moment. Great minds think alike.

* Finally, since I guess I have to mention it ... congratulations Missouri, on the absolute ass kicking you delivered my Jayhawks on Saturday. You should be commended. Especially your head coach. You all must be so proud of the man. I mean, he runs up the score (twice!) like a classless jackass, then goes on national TV afterwards and, rather than congratulate his kids on a huge win, rather than put the focus where it belongs, on Chase Daniel's amazing performance, he focuses on himself, and whines about losing the week before, and misrepresents what the Big XII told him regarding said loss. That's MU athletics at its finest: whiny malcontent assholes who run up the score, then cry like little b*tches when they don't (sniff) get a call (honk) they agree with (sniff) because they ran (tears) a god awful playcall in the first play (waa! waa!). Good freaking God, grow up Gary. I'd suggest growing a pair and acting like a man, but if you don't have any balls at this point, you're never going to.

I'd also suggest, as Tuesday Morning QB always points out about classless Pitt State, what goes around, comes around, Gary. Karma is a b*tch. And I can hardly wait to see it bite you in the ass for your classless antics from Saturday.

* OK, actually, since I can't end on a "yay MU" point ... Bring on the Browns!

This game coming up scares me. Cleveland is better than their record would indicate. It'll be their 3rd straight home game, and they're 0 for the first 2. Its also a classic "trap" game for us, coming off two emotional home wins over our bitter rivals, and with looming showdowns with the Ravens and Chargers up next. We already fell into one of these at Miami. We can't afford another.

We also traditionally struggle with the Browns. A tie at Cleveland in 1989 cost us a playoff berth. A loss to Cleveland in 1994 nearly crippled our wildcard hopes. A loss to Cleveland in 1995 nearly cost us home field advantage (which, to be fair, we blew anyways once the playoffs started). And who can forget the 2002 "Thank God Dwayne Rudd is a mother f*cking idiot" helmet toss game?

If someone comes up with a good idea on where to watch our latest "biggest game of the year", let me know. I'm willing to open the house up and do the Sunday Ticket deal as well, but I do live in the middle of nowhere. Well, compared to most everyone else anyways. Plus, the game is in HD, so that'll be cool, especially if it snows. Snow in HD, I bet, looks incredible. Then again, I'm mesmerized by the blades of grass on the field in HD, so what do I know.

Anyways, what a win! And tonight, the greatest tradition in Western Shawnee returns for an 8th year, as Steve goes to the Westlake store, buys a Christmas tree, brings it inside, decorates it up ... and places the piece de resistance on top. If you can think of a better tree topper than a Chiefs helmet, well, you're smarter than me. Angel, star, baby Jesus, come on. Chiefs helmet! Chiefs helmet!