Monday, December 7, 2009

chiefs! broncos! where the worst playcall in franchise history happens ...

After last year's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I wrote that "I don't even know where to begin, and for once, this is a good thing".

After yesterday's Chiefs / donkeys showdown at Arrowhead, I know exactly where to begin. And this is definitely not a good thing.

On the single most retarded play call I have ever witnessed.

To set the scene: its 4th and 7 at the Chiefs 28. Barely a minute has rolled off the clock to open the second half. The Chiefs trail 14-6. It is a one possession game, with 28 plus minutes to go. It is 4th and 7 at your own 28. Anyone with even an ounce of common sense punts the f*cking football. Anyone with an IQ of over 3 knows to punt the damned football.

Todd Haley, a man who will not be confused anytime soon with someone who possesses an "ounce of common sense" or "an IQ of over three", decides to fake the punt.

Only, he not just fakes the punt, because as stupid as that would have been, at least you might have caught the donkeys napping, something screwy might have happened, maybe someone decks Dusty C and you get a personal foul, at least a legitimate fake punt you can find some semblance of a justification for.

But to trot the backup QB out there and line him up as the punter? You have to be mentally retarded to not know what's coming next. The denver broncos are a lot of things, but they are not mentally retarded. They are a smart, disciplined, well coached football team.

The Chiefs, on the other hand, are none of those things.

As soon as they snapped it to Croyle, the ballgame was over. Not even remotely surprisingly, the donkeys maintained their lanes, batted the pass down (and there wasn't a Chiefs player with 20 feet of where the pass was headed anyways), and opened the floodgates. Three turnovers and 20 points later, I left at 34-6, with still 2 plus minutes left in the quarter.

I stood incredulous as the fake punt unfolded. I then stood in rage for 20 minutes afterwards, just glaring at the Chiefs sideline as the game fell apart, wishing to God there was some way to grab a sledgehammer and beat Todd Haley HHH style. Including chucking him through the Spanish announcing table.

For me, this experiment is over. I'm through with Todd Haley. He's dead to me. He flunked the only meaningful test of his rookie season -- he got embarrassed at home by my most hated franchise. And not just embarrassed -- he was exposed to the world yesterday for everything I believed him to be. A sh*tty ass head coach that's in over his head, hated by his players, inept at every single aspect of the game. After yesterday, there is no way, absolutely no way, anyone with a basic understanding of football can justify Todd Haley's continued employment beyond January 4, 2010. There is no way that can be done.

Its over. Pull the plug. ASAFP!!!

This was the equivalent of Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind instead of the ball to open overtime. This was the equivalent of the Vikings failing to turn in the draft card on time for two consecutive picks. This was the equivalent of the Miracle at the Meadowlands in terms of playcalling stupidity.

This was the single most retarded decision I have ever seen someone make.

Let's do this, I'll have more on the play below, because I'm not even close to being done raging about this. Especially given how Coach Asshat actually DEFENDED his decision in his postgame comments. I swear, when I heard his remarks, I wanted to cry. I've never been so angry to be a fan of a team as I am this morning. Past losses to denver I could cope with, because at least we had hope for the future. As long as Todd Haley is calling the shots, the Chiefs have NO shot of on-field success. None. This is as good as it gets for us with Coach Asshat at the helm. Getting tripled up at home. Allowing 40 plus to two divisional opponents in back-to-back weeks. (Side note: prior to yesterday, no Chiefs team in history had allowed 40 points in back-to-back games. Not even the "32 Defense" from 2002 accomplished that feat. Todd Haley's done more damage to this team in 12 weeks than even I imagined was possible. And I'm not exactly a Todd Haley fan).

* Should have known this would be a bad day based on how Nebraska / Texas ended the night before. For what its worth, the replay officials got it right, there should have been a second left on the clock. It still doesn't make it any easier to swallow though.

* I was wide awake at 3:30am. I was ready for this one. Too bad the Chiefs head coach wasn't.

* Arrived at the buses around 6am. You know I'm ready for a game when, despite the freezing cold, despite the threat of snow, and despite my stated hatred of said cold and snow, I arrived before half the other tailgaters were even awake.

* Solid crew yesterday. Two fairly packed buses. Menu was soups and chilis, with plenty of liquid and jello refreshment. I have to be honest -- at this point, the only reason I keep showing up is (a) the tickets are a sunken cost, and (b) the tailgating. There's no other reason to step foot on the grounds at One Arrowhead Drive. None. Unless you can facilitate my dream of going HHH on Coach Asshat through the Spanish announcing table. That's a valid reason too.

* The really nice new tailgating neighbors we met last home game, the ones who'd bought a short bus to turn into a tailgating dream, have made significant progress on said dream. The sides are all painted white, and they've got the Chiefs logos and emblems up. Its looking good, slowly yet surely.

* Funniest moment of tailgating: has to be when our neighbors across the way stumble in carrying a huge bottle of Cuervo and start offering shots to people. Turns out the guy's name is Castro. Poor guy. Most folks of Hispanic descent really wouldn't want to be stuck with the name "Castro", I would think. (The way he said it, I'm guessing he's not thrilled with his folks name choice at all).

* Worst moment of tailgating: as Monty's pulling the ambulance onto the grass, the beer tap split in two. Thankfully, enough was left on the tap to still enjoy the beer, but that definitely sucked.

* There were a ton of donkeys fans there yesterday. I had at least 15 of them in a 5 row vicinity around me. Including two right next to me in the seats that almost never get used. I guess I should be thankful to Coach Asshat for one thing -- his play call for the fake punt so enraged me, that I didn't even notice how obnoxious the donkeys fans got as that third quarter went along until I was leaving the stadium.

* The KC Wolf opening sketch was atrocious. I actually felt bad for the guy playing the sacrificial donkey. He had a look on his face for most of the pre-taped video that was a cross between "call my agent and CONFIRM I am getting paid to appear in this sh*tfest" and "please dear God, don't let anyone I know see me act in this sketch". In his defense, I would have been thinking the exact same two things.

* No flyover yesterday. Finally, someone looking out for the taxpayer's best interests.

(And please note: I am not anti-military, I'm not an isolationist, and I'm anything but an anti-war dove. But I am anti-flyover, because they are a complete waste of the taxpayer's money. We have far more pressing social concerns to be spending that money on than gassing up a few instruments of war to accommodate a worthless pregame show that nobody is going to remember 30 minutes after the fact anyways. I know I'm right about this.)

* The chick doing the national anthem was decent. Whitney something or other. If the singing career doesn't work out (and according to her Wikipedia page, its not), she should have her agent get Vivid Entertainment or Wicked Pictures on the line, she's attractive enough to be at least the third chick in a scene for one of those fine production companies.

* Chiefs won the toss, and chose to defer. It figures, the smartest decision anyone on our sideline made all day, and it was done on a coin toss. Oy.

* donkeys first drive was pretty impressive. Marched it a solid 65 yards in about 3 minutes. Then, kyle orton drops back to pass, and I still have no idea who or what he was looking at. It was into my end zone, and I didn't see anyone in white in the middle of the end zone where he was throwing. Demarrio Williams deflected the pass, and Mike Brown picked it off. Sadly, that was the highlight of the day, and there was still 55 plus minutes of craptacular football left to go.

* The Chiefs could do nothing after a turnover yesterday.

* Chiefs first drive after that interception, Cassel drops back on 3rd and about 5 and airs it out. It was a decently thrown ball that a wide open Bobby Wade should have caught, I thought. Only Wade didn't sell out to make the catch, he simply stuck his right arm out and hoped the ball would fall in. It went off his right hand. If he'd doved for the reception, odds are he gets it. He didn't even try. I'm telling you, this team has quit on Todd Haley. You could see it all day long yesterday, the subtle hints that the players just don't give a sh*t, they're so tired of being constantly berated by an idiot that they're just doing what they damned well want to. Even if that means half assing a pass right off the bat.

* After the play, Haley (for once, justifiably) lost his temper and ripped into Bobby Wade on the sidelines. Wade chose not to stand there and take it. He started screaming back. A player half assing it on the field is now screaming at a coach asking him why he's loafing like Carlos Beltran back in the day. Its imploding folks. Its all coming down in front of our eyes. And there's still a month left to go ...

* Seriously, do you think Carl ever watches a Chiefs game and just spends the entire three hours laughing his ass off? He took over a team in far worse shape than this one was, and between some shrewd Plan B signings, some tremendous drafting, and rock solid coaching, had the team a missed field goal at Cleveland away from the playoffs. In season one. I don't think Scott Pioli and Todd Haley could find a way to reach the playoffs if you gave them a Garmin and fronted them the tickets.

* The second denver possession, orton just tore the secondary to shreds. Four completions, plus a face mask penalty, and then orton found the endzone, I believe this was the graham TD. 7-0 donkeys.

* The Chiefs take the field, now trailing 7-0 and it probably should have been worse than that. And proceed to put on one of the greatest, old school drives you will ever see. On second thought, this might have been the highlight of the game. A 20 play drive that eats up nearly 9 minutes off the clock. Just a bunch of 3, 4, 5 yard Charles runs, 5-6 yard screen passes and out patterns, a calm, methodical drive down the field that had the Chiefs facing first and goal at the denver 1 yard line as the first quarter ended. In the west end zone, this hot as hell 32 year old was getting excited. It was set up, Chiefs punch it in over the next few plays, tie the game, get some momentum back ...

* and to noone's surprise, Todd Haley chooses three horrendous play calls from the goalline. First, a pitch left to Charles. Why in God's name would you call a pitch at the goalline? Pound the damned ball up the middle, four times in a row if you have to. Just fall forward. Whatever you do, don't go laterally because that's the ONLY way you can lose yardage (other than via penalty)! Charles loses 3. On second and goal, rather than giving it to Charles or (the surprisingly effective yesterday) Leonard Pope up the middle ... Haley puts Cassel in the shotgun, pass incomplete to Lance Long. Why in God's name would you call a SHOTGUN FORMATION on goal to go inside the 5? Why? Now, its third down. At this point a pass makes sense, but you could still catch denver offguard with a draw here (earlier on the drive, on 3rd and 7 at the denver 11, we'd called a draw to Charles, who gained 10 on the play to set up the goal to go. Cassel was under center on that play, so the defense had to play both run and pass, and didn't play either very effectively on that down, as Charles had a huge hole to plow through ... right up the middle). Now, on 3rd and 4 at the 4, Cassel again is in the shotgun, and this pass isn't even close to being complete.

Let's run through this one more time. Goal to go at the one. You're already 16 plays into the drive, you've had denver's defense on the field for 8 minutes and counting. Anyone with an ounce of football intelligence pounds it up the middle, four times if needed. Instead, Coach Asshat goes pitch left, shotgun incomplete, shotgun incomplete. A drive that should have ended 99% of the time with a Chiefs touchdown, had a power formation and straight ahead run been called ... instead ends in three baffling play calls and a field goal. This was as close as the Chiefs would come all day to catching denver.

Here's a hint, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. This isn't your girlfriend modeling her latest purchase from Victoria's Secret for you. That's where cute counts. Cute doesn't count on a football field. Victory is what counts there. You get victory by using common sense in how you attack the enemy. Nothing you did in this goal to go sequence passes the common sense test. Or helps you win yesterday. But it sure as hell contributed to yet another defeat on your resume.

* the teams exchange punts, before denver gets the ball back about midway through the quarter. And its at this point, that denver coach (and offensive play caller) josh mcdaniels changes direction. For most of the first 22 minutes, the donkeys have had more success in the air. To compensate, the Chiefs are starting to drop back off the line, play more nickel coverage, even on first down, and are dropping the linebackers into coverage a lot more than usual. mcdaniels sees this on the previous drive (where denver punted) and immediately adjusts the gameplan to pound the football. Seven plays and 80 yards later (only one play and 14 yards of which weren't running plays), denver's in the end zone again, knowshon moreno offtackle on 2nd and goal. (Note: denver got 1st and goal I believe at the Chiefs 4. They ran it offtackle with moreno twice, and scored. Take notes, Todd. You don't get cute at the goalline. You pound it down the opponent's throat.)

God bless it, I hate it that Pioli screwed the coaching hire. Why didn't Pioli hire mcdaniels? He knew josh better than any other GM looking for a coach. What's your excuse, Scott? What's your f*cking excuse for botching the first major decision with the Chiefs and setting the rebuild back another two years as a result if you don't fire him after this season? (And setting it back one year no matter what happens come January 4th).

Again, don't tell me coaching doesn't matter. It does in the NFL. denver has a tremendous head coach that'll be kicking our ass like a government mule for the next decade. We've got ... we've got an asshat who's too stupid to pound the ball at the one yard line. Excuse me while I go bash my head into the wall while having the irritating "in ... com ... plete! wa wa wa wa!!!" chant screamed in both my ears ...

* The teams then engage in a thrilling three-and-out festival, about 5 or 6 straight drives of neither side being able to do anything. Mostly due to inept quarterback play. Especially by Cassel. Who, when his receivers weren't half assing it and dropping passes, was overshooting his receivers with alarming inaccuracy. He had a throw in the third quarter, the drive after the fake punt, where he rolled out and had a wide open Chris Chambers 15 yards downfield. Cassel overshot Chambers by 20 yards. It was pathetic. Also, at one point yesterday, his QB rating hit a 3.2. 3.2! I believe you get a 42 just for doing nothing other than taking a snap. Holy Lord, he was awful yesterday.

* Then, the donkeys start driving. They get to midfield, and have a 3rd down play upcoming. Still about 1:45 to go in the half. Already up 14-3, if they punch this in, this game is all but over. Tamba Hali comes around the end, orton feels the pressure, panics, and moves up into the pocket instead of scrambling. Bad mistake. Hali nails him, knocks the ball out, and the Chiefs recover the fumble. Toss in a holding call by denver to boot, and the Chiefs are in business at midfield, with all three timeouts left.

This could have been a HUGE swing in momentum. If the Chiefs can score here, even just a field goal, they pull within a score at the half, and they get the ball, coming off what promised to be one of the most emotional halftimes ever in that stadium. Like so many times yesterday, the opportunity to get back in the game or really deliver a blow to denver was there.

The Chiefs did score ... although the clock management and (especially) the play call on 3rd down was atrocious. First down, Cassel gets off a short pass to Pope, who breaks a couple tackles to gain 11. Timeout Chiefs. That timeout, I was ok with. Pope was the safety valve, the play was designed to go downfield. You'd have to waste 20 seconds on the play clock getting everybody back, plus substitutions, no sense risking a stupid delay of game or false start penalty at that point, since you're pushing field goal range for Succup. (I believe we were at the 38 yard line).

Next play, protection breaks down, Cassel manages to get four yards and get out of bounds. Again, no complaints. He had to take off to avoid the rush, and he got out of bounds without losing yardage. Second down, short pass over the middle to Chambers sets up a third and a short one. Timeout Chiefs.

THIS timeout I had an issue with. This wasn't a downfield pass like the one that started the drive. Nobody went more than 7-8 yards downfield. Get back, bring in the power formation (its now 3rd and 1) and pound the f*cking football to get the first down, THEN call the timeout. You also have to consider that denver's moved the ball fairly well all day, you don't want to leave them too much time on the clock, especially since eddie royal is more than capable of returning the kick to midfield and beyond.

3rd and 1, more "cuteness" from Haley. Cassel in the shotgun. Incomplete. Now, its decision time. The wind yesterday was brutal. It was swirling in my end zone (which is where the field goal try would occur). At first Succup trots out, and then Haley has second thoughts, because the Chiefs burn their final timeout.

But as Paul Maguire would say, "let's go back to that previous play!" Why in the hell are you calling a shotgun formation on 3rd and 1, when (a) you only need about half a yard for the first down, and (b) the wind situation made ANY field goal try a crapshoot at best? Plus you still had a timeout left to stop the clock after the pickup!

Does ANYTHING even remotely sounding like this ever pass through Todd Haley's head? I'd be curious to know exactly what he was thinking in that spot. A power formation run, either up the middle or offtackle, is going to get you the first down 75% of the time, if not even higher. If you don't get the first, you aren't going to lose yardage, and then you can still try the field goal on 4th down. Sometimes its called an "obvious playcall" because it's "obvious" to everyone what the right thing to do is. Again, cute is wonderful when it involves a member of the opposite sex. Cute on the football field gets you fired. (Or at least it should in Todd Haley's case).

Then, more infuriating antics, at least to me. During the timeout, Haley and Cassel didn't even communicate. (brian griffin voice) what the hell? I stood and watched the sideline during this timeout. Haley didn't say one word to his quarterback. If the whole point of calling the timeout is to decide whether to try a dicey kick, or go for the first down, shouldn't the starting quarterback's input be heard? If anyone knows what the situation calls for, isn't it your field general? Again, its a small thing that's probably unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it just illustrates to me yet again that Todd Haley has no clue what he is doing.

Haley opts to kick. The kick is good. Barely. This new regime's screwed up a lot in year one, but they nailed this draft pick. We haven't had a reliable place kicker with 35 plus yard range since Stoyanovich in the late 90s. (I know Morten Anderson was reliable, hence the "35 plus yard range" comment).

* So we're at the half. 14-6 denver. The moment everyone's been waiting for, the most hyped halftime event in franchise history, is upon us. The retirement of number 58.

As a stand alone event, it was very nice. I thought it was well-organized and well-planned. It seemed to be well-received by most of the fans. I liked seeing a lot of DT's former beloved teammates get some recognition -- Dan Saleaumua, Neil Smith, Tracy Simien, Kevin Ross. The guys who formed the core of the team that won a city's heart 20 years ago. It was wonderful to see Marty Schottenheimer, and I loved the huge, I mean huge, standing ovation he got. Seriously, that was the loudest Arrowhead got yesterday, was the prolongued applause for Marty. Good.

I also thought it was tremendously classy (and those are two words I do not often associate with the denver broncos or their fans, "tremendously" and "classy"), I thought it was tremendously classy that pretty much every denver fan in the stadium stood and applauded the honor of DT. As someone who toasted the demise of Barrel Man on Saturday night, I know I don't have the class their fans did yesterday.

(Although having said that ... rest in peace, Barrel Man. I may have hated you and I will always hate the team you rooted for, but you make every game for forty plus years, in the cold most of the time, while wearing just a barrel? And leaving your mark as one of the most recognizable fan symbols in the country? You got my respect. You'll be missed.)

Having said all that, again, nice respectful ceremony, appropriately done ... it was missing something. I don't know what exactly, but it just didn't feel right. For starters, I felt bad for his kids. I love DT, but the way he lived his life off the field is nothing to be respected. Anyone can make a mistake once. But seven times by five different women? To me, the kids being out there had to happen, but it kind of put a downer on the deal. A visual reminder that DT's greatness on the field was matched, if not topped, by his reckless stupidity off of it.

Plus, where was Carl? I don't care what issues Chiefs fans had with him by the end, the bottom line is that Carl's first major decision as our GM was to hire Marty. (Good start). His second major decision was to spend a top five draft pick on Derrick Thomas. (Even better). I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Scott Pioli hiring Todd Haley and drafting Tyson Jackson isn't going to have the same impact on this team that Marty and Derrick did. (Well, it might, except in the exact opposite direction). Carl did a wonderful job presenting DT for induction. I think he should have been on the field yesterday to see the number retired.

And I know this is a nit picking point ... but where was Commissioner Goodell? I get that the Chiefs suck, and a December blowout victory by the visiting team isn't high on his priorities list, but wouldn't a number retirement for a Hall of Famer who was just inducted earlier this year at least show up on his radar somewhere? Even if it was a quick "fly in Sunday morning and leave at halftime" appearance, I think the Commish should have been there.

Also ... why was the ceremony so short? There were still 8 minutes left in the halftime when the thing was done. Why not have Saleaumua or Neil Smith or Marty speak? I know they did some pre-taped bits that aired during timeouts, but what's the harm in turning Neil Smith loose on the mic when you've got 5 minutes to spare?

All in all, again, a very nice, respectful gesture by the Chiefs, the Hall of Fame, the Thomas family, and his former teammates and coaches. But something was missing.

* Chiefs get the ball to open the second half. After a couple incompletions, its 4th down and 7. Cue the fake punt. Let's examine this fateful play a little bit more, ok?

Here's what the Star had to write: "Haley's decision-making again was questionable, underscored by a series of trick plays and an attempt to convert a fourth down, when Croyle lined up as the Chiefs punter, took the snap and, under pressure from the clearly unsurprised broncos, threw the ball into the turf."

(Note: when the freaking Kansas City Star, who at last check still employ Lewis Diuguid and Mary Sanchez, two folks who see racism in just ordering a cheeseburger, when the Star is calling your decision making "questionable", I think that's saying something.)

Here's what Brodie Croyle, who hadn't been asked to punt since high school, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We were hoping to catch them off guard. I think we did."

(Note: that only further enrages me. "I think we did". No, Brodie, you didn't. You didn't fool one damned person in that stadium. Most of all the 11 guys wearing white on that play, you definitely didn't catch them "off guard".)

Here's what Todd Haley, who isn't capable of coaching a high school team at this point, had to say about the worst playcall in franchise history: "We felt good, obviously, to call it (the play). The nature of the play made it something we had to do in our own end where they didn't have any chance to be in any kind of safe punt return or coverage."

And then, rather than admit the obvious (that it was a horrendous decision that completely opened the floodgates to a denver victory), Todd Haley did what he does best: he threw his troops under the bus. "We missed a block. We turned a guy free that should have been blocked. Then we've got to execute the play. The ball was knocked down. Who the ball was going to, it appeared to me he was open for a very big play".

The Star's next paragraph, again, in a rare voice of reason moment for that publication: "Gafford was indeed uncovered, but the ball never had a chance to get to him. (broncos player richard) quinn was not fooled".

So let's see here. You trot out the backup QB to ostensibly punt the ball. The donkeys defenders, not even remotely fooled or bamboozled by what is going to happen, simply shift tactics and hold their blocks rather than rush the "punter". By holding their blocks, the receiver for the play (the snapper) can't get open, because he has to block. There is no fallback option, no contingency plan. Its all or nothing. By simply noting "hey, that's a QB back there, not the punter. Whatdya bet something fishy is about to happen", the donkeys special teams turned the game from a tight, competitive contest, into an ass kicking of Biblical proportions.

And all our coach can say about it, his reaction to the brain fart of the century, is to (a) toss his players under the bus, (b) claim that it worked in practice, and (c) attempt to avoid all responsibility for his game-changing decision. In the words of the great Verne Lundquist, "wonderful!"

But don't just take my word for it! Plenty of folks were angry, stunned, or laughing hysterically over this abject stupidity of this playcall. The donkeys fans next to me turned and asked "is your coach really this stupid?" (Yes. Yes he is.) Greg, the guy who sits in front of me, simply turned around with a "what the f*ck just happened" look of abject horror. The curly haired guy two rows in front of me turned around with the same "what the f*ck just happened" look, only this one was of a "this is so stupid you can't help but laugh" variety.

Gregg, the ex-roommate, has yet to comment. I sent the "todd must go cut the cord" text that every other time gets a "you overreact / he's not that bad / give him time" response. No response this time. (Congratulations, Todd! You've managed to f*ck up so spectacularly that my voice of reason cannot disagree with what I am saying about you! You definitely get a Tommy Point for that one.)

But don't just take it from section 132. I asked a fellow STH over in 136 his thoughts. Dusty's reply: "I wasn't cold anymore after that play. My blood was boiling." And this too, "I don't care who you are, that's a fireable offense. That's a fireable offense". (Take it from me folks, as p*ssed off as I was after that game yesterday, and especially over this play, I had nothing on Dusty J yesterday. Keep reading ...)

* I should have left after that play. Instead, I spent the next 20 some odd minutes just staring in rage at the Chiefs sideline. Ask anyone sitting by me. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I just stood there, arms folded, with a look of sheer rage, staring at the retard in the black shirt walking our sideline. The Chiefs D held denver to a field goal after the turnover on downs to go up 17-6, but the damage was done. Nobody supporting the Chiefs, at that point, had even an ounce of confidence in the team to win. And we were right.

Cassel intercepted on the second play after the field goal. A horrendous pass. Returned to the Chiefs 20. A couple plays later, touchdown denver, I believe this was marshall's catch. Its now 24-6 and we're just getting started. Cassel again intercepted on another horrendous pass. The donkeys kick a field goal. 27-6, and we're just getting warmed up. After an exchange of three and outs, Jamaal Charles goes pitch right ... and fumbles. Touchdown denver. 34-6. It is at this point that I turn to Russ and Mona, note "the booze is cheaper at the bus", and I was out.

* The walk back was just surreal. Every Chiefs fan fled that stadium after the fumble. In the span of 10 minutes, we had gone from having the ball with a chance to tie the game, to being down 28. All traceable to one amazingly retarded decision, a decision that should seal Todd Haley's fate. Everyone you passed just shook their heads, with a "I cannot believe this happened" look. Normally on the walk back, even after a loss, I'll stop and talk to the regulars on the grass, chat it up with whoever I'm walking out with, at least go over a few key points and moments with Russ. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word.

We get back to the bus, Russ unlocks it, and doesn't say a word. He just heads back, grabs two plastic cups, hands me one, and heads off for the beer tap. This was too painful for beer -- I immediately open the vodka bottle and the apple juice, and make a Steve style concoction that was pretty much 75% vodka. Russ and I head over to the tailgating neighbors (the ones with the bus in progress), and two of them are there. The one guy goes "I left after that fake punt. It's a joke. This whole damned team's a joke". The other guy just nods in agreement.

To further set the scene, even if you leave a game early, usually somebody, anybody, around you that's waiting out traffic or just hanging out for the hell of it, has the game on. Either on a TV or the radio, someone has it on. NOBODY had the game on. Its was so quiet out there that it quite honestly scared me. Nobody was talking, nobody's radio was playing the game or music or anything. Just angry p*ssed off fans drinking a bad season now gone horribly wrong away.

* Mona and Katie arrive next. Again, nobody really talking. Some jello shots appeared. You don't need to ask me twice.

* Dusty and Kellie next. Kellie of course had every right to be happy, as her team was winning. Dusty ... I gotta admit, I have never seen him as p*ssed off as he was at that moment. Never. I've known the kid for years, hell I lived with him for two years. Even the night we evicted "deadbeat ex roommate", the shopping at Lowe's for the locks and a new door and knowing how ugly it was going to get, four years of frustration with that loser about to boil over ... even THEN he wasn't as p*ssed off as yesterday. As Kellie stopped to have some shots and some beer and enjoy the victory, Dusty simply went and sat in the car to vent. Nothing you said or did could get him to come out of the car. Eventually, he moved the car over to make the walk for Kellie easier ... only he still didn't come out of the car. He just sat there, the anger rising. It was a true Steve style meltdown. Just obsessing over the play. He didn't even say goodbye -- he just rolled down the back window after a few minutes and yelled something like "Kellie, now!"

I personally loved it.

(It was nice for once to not be the irrational one in the group obsessing over a game.)

* Here's a true measure of how ugly it was. Normally when I leave a game early, I have to wait a while, because (a) not everybody's back yet or (b) the traffic is terrible. You can't exactly merge a huge bus into a steady stream of cars. Everyone left so early yesterday, that we were home before the game ended.

* Not only the beer tap broke yesterday, but we lost a goalpost on the drive home. Stupid dangling power lines.

* Postgame, not much to say. Sat around, drank, then headed home to watch "The Amazing Race" and drink. I had zero interest in watching the Sunday nighter. Mainly because watching the Cardinals, you just sit back and think "wait. Our head coach was their coordinator. Our defensive coordinator was their coordinator. They replace both of them after a Super Bowl appearance ... and they're better this year?" Oy.

* I am undecided on my attendance the remainder of the season. On the one hand, its a sunken cost. I'm out the $168 whether I go or not. On the other hand, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I hate our head coach so much, I have so little confidence in his ability to lead this team, that its not worth investing any more time or emotion at this point. Every decision only adds to the hatred, only adds to the rage I feel towards this team and this coach.

The only thing left now is to wait out the last four weeks, hope Todd Haley is fired, and a competent, qualified coach is hired to replace him. The Todd Haley Experiment is a failure. There's no other way to put it. Yesterday Todd Haley and his staff were exposed to the nation as frauds. They are incompetent. Not just Haley though, every last damned one of them should be sent packing. You don't fire the offensive coordinator two weeks before the season starts. That's a recipe for disaster. Haley did it. And this season is a disaster.

Where's the quality control guy, the Mike White of the staff, to step in and tell Todd that faking a punt with the backup QB is a retarded idea? I hate, I mean I freaking hate, the notion out there on Martin Manley's Upon Further Review site and elsewhere, that Haley is coaching aggressively to try to steal a win. Very few head coaches in this league have ever been more aggressive than Dick Vermeil. That man never met an opportunity where he didn't try to steal the situation. But he had Mike White there to reign in his excesses. Where's the Mike White on this staff? Where's the special teams coach screaming into his headset the utter stupidity of what Todd wants to try? Where's the common sense that tells you faking a punt to open the second half of a game you're only down a score in, is absolute insanity?

Bill Parcells always noted "you are what you are". These Chiefs are a direct reflection of their head coach and his playbooks. You like what you see, Kansas City? You feel proud to root for these guys? A defense that's given up 9 400+ yard games in 12 weeks? An offense that has topped 300 in yardage once this season? A team that's 1-5 at home, has given up 40 plus in back to back weeks, has given up 35 plus in half their games, and has yet to top 27 points scored. Players openly half assing it on the field, coaches unable to bring out the best in them?

I don't like what I see. I effing hate what I see.

Sorry to ramble. I needed to vent. For a better and more reasoned perspective, read Bob Gretz.

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week twelve picks

The Statisticals. Last Week SU: 8-6-0. Season to Date SU: 98-62-1. Last Week ATS: 7-7-0. Season to Date ATS: 75-80-6. Last Week Upset / ...